Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i would punch a child for taco bell
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
