Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
