Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
BRING THE BAGELS
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
