So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
