Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
