Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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