Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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