please come you make the beer taste better
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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