If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
