My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize