It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Randomize
