I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
