You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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