Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
