I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
