and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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