weddingsv make me drug and hornr
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
