somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
