Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize