but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
