I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
