why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
