Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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