I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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