on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
