The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
