weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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