And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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