I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
