I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Are my feet made of real feet?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
