you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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