Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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