I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize