I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
