Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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