Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
