i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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