I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize