I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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