Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I wear drunk well.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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