I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
