I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
