Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
