She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
