all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
