You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
