But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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