its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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