the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
