i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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