check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
