Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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