if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
