Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
