He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
