dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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