he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
