I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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