Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
