He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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