So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Randomize