Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We left the knife in your bed.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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