umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
