At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
