break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
