I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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