oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
