Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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