Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
