I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
