Dual....:-)
Don't make out with my wife yet
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
