Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize