I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
