How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
